WELL, you see I probably shouldn’t write a blog when I’m in this sort of mood, but it is when I actually write a meaningful blog, meaningful to me at least. If I was on top of the moon currently, you’d be reading about how I wonder why bee stings really hurt. Who wants to read that? If you do, well…Google is your friend.
Anyway, lately I’ve been wondering a lot about why I try so hard? I try to give 100% as often as I could. Granted, sometimes I slack everybody does, but I’ve got school, skating, chores, community service, I teach CCD on monday nights, homework, and then helping my younger siblings and eating, oh and let’s not forget sleeping ties into that, never mind the fact that I’m still young…I believe I’m entitled to a little slacking here and there. It’s pretty much impossible to put 100% into all that and still manage to be able to move by the end of the day. So, basically I was just wondering why I work so hard to be a good role model for my siblings? Hm? Is there any reason why? There’s nobody (well besides my parents, but they’re older so I don’t look up to them the way my little siblings look up to me) for me to look up to and I am still a good kid, why do I need to make sure my every single step is absolutely perfect for my siblings? Yeah, I want it to be that way I’m honestly proud they admire me, but a C on a test shouldn’t be the end of the world. Right? It’s not like they’re going to want to get involved in all sorts of drugs because their older sister got a C on a test. If you agree with me would you mind helping me convince my parents of the same?
Then I wonder why I just try so hard in general. I know I can barely fit everything into one day, somehow I manage because I work hard, I don’t waste time, I manage it well (well enough at least), but yet, nobody cuts me any slack ever. I guess everybody’s just so used to me working everything into a schedule, barely having any time for friends and not complaining about it that they take advantage of it.
I wonder why when I want something SO badly there never fails to be something in my path that’s shoving me away from what I want. No, I’m not talking about guys because unlike most of the girls my age I do not freak out when a guy I like doesn’t glance in my direction in a span of five minutes. I mean with High School and skating. Does there have to be so many people applying to the school’s I want to go to? Why does that girl have to have a triple salchow too? Blah.
I wonder why I’m not lucky? Do not get me wrong. Please, I’m incredibly grateful for what I have, but I know many people have happy healthy family and good friends PLUS a little extra something. What I mean by a little extra something is getting lucky. I know people who have grandparents who have won the lottery and they’re benefiting from it. Jeez, why can’t I get a little extra something here and there?
I can’t complain though, I’m a happy person, I’m not going to lie. I just wonder why it has been generation through generation that everybody has to work their absolute hardest to maintain what they have, to make other people happy, etc. Sometimes they don’t even GET what they truly want when there’s people that pass them by that…just do not work as hard.
Although I complain (which honestly is only once in a while) I decided I won’t at any point in my life decide to not work as hard. Sure, I will slack a little it’s inevitable, but I don’t think I could ever live a life that is not constantly busy I’m just way too accustomed to it. Life isn’t fair to a lot of people, but I guess I’m grateful for being able to manage, it makes me a strong person which I’ll definitely need in the future. Eh, at least I’ll never be able to say I didn’t try which is a lot more than most people can say.
I’d love for these questions to be answered, but in the meantime I’m going to go back to my L.A. homework. I think everybody should be pretty proud that I’ve gotten my blog posted before xoathleteox, unless she decided to beat me to the punch and click publish before me.
Note: Blogs I’ve commented this week
1. http://slr08.learnerblogs.org/2007/12/03/lollipop/#comment-59
2. http://agr08.learnerblogs.org/2007/12/05/hmm/#comment-31
Entries (RSS)
December 5th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
wow. I must say, I know you pretty well but I never knew that you were so…. how do I put this?? Scheduled…. yeah that’s a good word for it. Getting a C on a test won’t change the person you are. Slacking a little bit now and then won’t kill you. I know you want your younger sibilings to look up to you, but I realized something. If they see you doing all these things, running around and never having time for friends or for yourself, they will do the same. They might end up being in the same perdicament as you. You are putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself and I don’t blame you for wanting to take some time for yourself. My advice to you, just do it. Take a little time off from the rink (if at all possible) and sleep… hang with friends… eat… ANYTHING! Because we’re only young once.
December 6th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
i completely understand what you mean. my parents are the same way. i mean, c is average but everyone seems to think that a c is a horrible grade, and i guess compared to my usualy work it isn’t very good, but i mean if i get a c my parents yell at me and tell me that i could have done so much better when i really tried hard, but then my parents turn around and tell my brother that if he got c’s that they would be happy with his grades. and i’m sure it’s kinda like that with you. and i completely agree, it’s not fair. and i know what you mean, working too hard on things. i mean, my parents expect me to work really hard on everything too, and there is really nobody around that can look up to that. i mean, theres my little brother, but he doesn’t look up to me for that reason, he would more likely look up to me for being a cool sister than getting an a, that means nothing to him. also, my parents are used to me getting a’s, so they expect it. i know some kids get money for every a on their report card, i always have a’s, yet i barely get to go out a few times a week. i don’t get it, and i know ecactly how you feel.
and for the tight schedule, idk what to say. i mean, i only have to go to school and ccd once a week, and i feel like i don’t have enough time for homework, projects, studying and i feel like i never get to do anything with my friends. i can only imagine how you feel. i think that you deff. deserve a little time off to do what you want.
something else i wonder is how come things that they happened to my brother, they expect to happen to me? i mean, my brother has been in trouble with the police, and he smokes, and he is never home, and he’s doing bad in school, but my parents trust him to do whatever he wants, but my parents don’t trust me at one of my friend’s houses because they have a bar in their basement, even though their parents are home. and at least i keep in touch with my parents and tell them where i am, my brother didn’t call until 2:30 am the other night. and they don’t care if he comes home with really bloodshot eyes, but they think i’ve been doing something if i’m laughing too hard..and it was just really funny. idk. i don’t get it either.
December 11th, 2007 at 9:46 am
Nothing is worth getting unless you work hard for it. The good in this world is only there because of people who work hard and struggle. The people who take the easy way out will never achieve anything worthwhile. Life is never easy and you need to work to make it worth living. Enjoy every day knowing that you did the best you could.